Smile

Reading yesterday’s article in the Star Newspaper about the collapse of the tower in Sabah that caused a major blackout there and how it was caused by the stealing of metal which most likely was worth only RM 40 got me thinking. EVERYTHING IS A MESS!

It would seem that this is not the only case of these things happening around us. Someone does wrong be whether the person is sincerely wrong (forced into the situation) or blatantly wrong and someone else pays the price for it. How is that fair?

A mother tried her best to raise her child and bring him up the best she knows how. He turns out messing up his life and she is blamed for her parenting skills and her lack of know how. How is that fair?

I sold all I had to buy me a decent good-looking motorcycle with money that came from the sweat of my brow only for it to be damaged by an attempted robbery and I had to pay an extra cost on top of the insurance claim to get it fixed. One month of inconveniences and so much more agony just because someone thought it would be nice to have this bike. How is that fair?

I am so frustrated with life! I am looking back on my past now. Remembering that day vividly as I heard my mom screamed out ‚ÄòSomeone’s taking your bike!’ It turn out to be four ‘someone’s’ who apparently tried to run off with my bike because they had no clue how to start it. This happened at church and there were loads of people around so they gave chase before I reached down and guess what? The bike was too heavy for them to push to get away with it fast enough, so they DUMPED my bike on the road!

The result of which is displayed below.

Looking at it, I knew it was going to cost a bomb to fix. We couldn’t turn the ignition off because the key hole was jammed. So it was kind enough for the mechanics downstairs to allow me to leave it in their shop overnight. The next day I had to inconvenient my mom and borrow a Mitsubishi Storm to carry my bike to the workshop. Since it didn’t fit nicely I had to sit with it at the back of this trailer.

I am ashamed to say the day when that happened I lost my cool. I deeply regretted my actions that were driven by pure emotions though it was rightly so because when I reached there, they quoted me the repairs amounting to RM3150. What? But this day I looked calm and composed because I knew there was no point going through the pain anymore. There was no way I could afford this sum of money as I am jobless now and in the midst of a huge transition in my life. But my emotions were in a huge turmoil because I love that bike.

So I had to make a police report. Rumor is that these guys have been creating some havoc in the neighborhood and guess what? We asked the police and they said ‚ÄòIs that so?’ No everything is fine around here. Next thing I know is I am travelling from police station to police station trying to get a report of which I know no investigation will be made but just to obtain it for the insurance claim. I spent the whole day and the next day too, to get it done.

Handing in all the necessary things needed to file a claim, I waited for them to so call process it. I was promised that i will hear from them within 2 weeks, then 3 weeks, then one more week. That’s it! I said, I called the manager and talked gently. I told him it was unkind of his staff to even slam the phone down on me. The next day the claim was ready amounting to RM 1900. Not the amount I need but better than nothing.

Finally work begins in restoring my poor beloved bike. It took one week but when I received my baby back in my arms, it was like the happiest moment in my life. So I was reflecting on this passage because it sounded like God was trying to say something to me.

Matthew 13:44-50 44 “The Kingdom of Heaven is like a treasure that a man discovered hidden in a field. In his excitement, he hid it again and sold everything he owned to get enough money to buy the field.

45 “Again, the Kingdom of Heaven is like a merchant on the lookout for choice pearls. 46 When he discovered a pearl of great value, he sold everything he owned and bought it!

47 “Again, the Kingdom of Heaven is like a fishing net that was thrown into the water and caught fish of every kind. 48 When the net was full, they dragged it up onto the shore, sat down, and sorted the good fish into crates, but threw the bad ones away. 49 That is the way it will be at the end of the world. The angels will come and separate the wicked people from the righteous, 50 throwing the wicked into the fiery furnace, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

Imagine with me as I had found my bike and fell in love with it, I went off and sold everything just to get my bike. I was so delighted because this is something precious to me. How precious then is God’s kingdom to me? Now if I lost the bike how devastating would it be? Am I holding on to what is truly precious to me in life? I think the mess is caused by me holding on to things that are not necessary to hold on to.

To me, what is said down here is truth I often forget:

Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and He will give you everything you need.

And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul?

Do you know that the second verse is found in three of the gospels? The same exact phrase. It must be really important for three separate writers to write it down exactly as Jesus said it.

I’m reminded of a few things:

1. Sin has great consequences on people’s lives. We can try all we want but we cannot hide the fact that this world is governed by a system that is dark and evil. Here the wicked prosper and the righteous suffer. This is why everything is a mess! We can try to sweep the mess under a carpet but this mess can never be clean up by us. Only God can make the difference helping each of us to do our part.

2. My salvation should be more precious to me. If I treasure what I own here on earth so much, how much more should I treasure God’s gift of life. I realised I haven’t sold everything I owned. I hold dearly to someone or something. These things are not for me to control. I just got to leave it in God’s hands. God had saved me from the wretchedness of sin and death. I should be living my life feeling happy!

3. I need not be the judge of the circumstances. God promises hope. He also promise that He will separate the good from the bad. He promised a future where there is no more sorrows, no more pain. This world is not my home I’m just a passing through!

Therefore, it is not what happens to my life, it is how I choose to react and live my life. The thiefs will blame their circumstance, the officials the thief and the blame will go on and on and never end. The child can blame the mother, the people blame her too or maybe she can blame herself but that will never end too. I could blame so many things. I am just humbled to realise I should treasure what I have and not look at the surroundings. I can’t change what has happened. I cannot even change what is to come. All I can choose is how to be happy with God by my side.

Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

All I can change is how I look at life and the kingdom that God has promised. That I know if I treasure just the simple things I have, I know He treasures me so much more. I’m not saying we cannot work on doing things better but I think we lost the art of rejoicing in little things. Just as many have lost the art of even smiling. I can remember all the details about those terrible moments in my life. Why am I not remembering every detail about the good moments in my life?

People say we look back on the mistakes to learn from it often times it just tie us down. The best thing we can learn from our past is that God is merciful. Why not move on and ask the question what about the other millions of attributes of God we miss out? I now will only look back if it does not pull me down. I should instead focus on the finish line. If only we could live life according to what this song say, everyday would seem brighter:

Why should I feel discouraged, why should the shadows come,
Why should my heart be lonely, and long for heaven and home,
When Jesus is my portion, My constant friend is He:
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

I sing because I’m happy,
I sing because I’m free,
For His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.

“Let not your heart be troubled,” His tender word I hear,
And resting on His goodness, I lose my doubts and fears;
Though by the path He leadeth, but one step I may see;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me

Whenever I am tempted, whenever clouds arise,
When songs give place to sighing, when hope within me dies,
I draw the closer to Him, from care He sets me free;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

I wrote so much and then now looking back at what I wrote. Everything is just a mess. It is just mere nothingness compared to the only fact that I know God loves YOU and me.

This is dedicated to a dear someone who believes everything is a mess in her life. I feel so helpless in encouraging you or helping you through these times you are going through. But I guess all I’m really trying to show is that God is there, and I will be there for you always.

Tags: frus, mess