I’ve been crazily trying to say my goodbyes and also packing that I didn’t have time to write anything. Even this is coughed out of thin air.

I realise I think too much at the moment. I’m so worried about this and that. What will happen if this don’t work out well? What if they don’t like me there? What if? What if? What if?

I also have been constantly dreaming about what phone I will get if I am there when I apply for my mobile phone line….. so why don’t you all help me choose ok?

Should I get a:

Motorola V9 – I love the form factor and it is so cooollll

HTC S730 – Windows Mobile which gives me lots of needed tools

Sony Ericson K850i – Stable phone with nice pictures and music functions

LG KU990 – This has super cool and great functions too

Motorola Q9h – Functionally great!

I am so so torn…..I want something that can replace my Dopod 810 that I gave to my dad but nothing that fits in my budget comes close to having its functions. Mainly I want GPS!! But none of these have it…Sigh. Oh well……with so many choices, I’m spoilt for choice. I have went through this many times and these are the only ones that fit my budget. Which one shall I choose?

I actually this really has all the functions I need:

Asus P750 – but they don’t offer this and it is above my budget

What I love to get is this:

3G Iphone – This is almost lust but only arrives in a months time

I am leaning towards getting the LG and I linked the phones so you can check out the specs and reviews. Please Please share your opinion….. I need to decide soon

I was sitting here thinking what in the world I could share in my blog. So it got me all sentimental because I started to remember so much that has happened over the past few years.

As a kid I had many wishes and dreams. None of which at that moment in time were ever be possible. None of which I would ever dream being possible as well.

The first thoughts as usual was of all the negative things that have happened. These things never stop haunting me. Many of which I would wish time could turn back and give me one more chance to make it right.

So I started writing and guess what? I entitled my post ‘Disappointments’ (It’s still saved in my drafts hahaha). The list of disappointments flowed through my head so fast so much so I was unable to keep penning them down at the same rate. Then I reached a point where I breathed……

Felt a sudden rush of negative emotions rushing through my veins to a point I shivered. My guilty conscience is killing me at this point. I really wish I was dead. This is the power of sin.

I breathed again……this time I looked around. Then I hear a soft whisper in my heart. ‘Leon, life is worth living’. I looked around again. I began to see. Yes! It is!

Everything I had around me showed me God cares. I got my first official real kiss from my god-daughter just two days back. WOW! What a dream come true!

In fact! I have everything I have ever wished for in my life. What is there I don’t have? (Except for a wife). In fact yesterday, I had got a present I never dreamed of having in my life. To the person who blessed me with this a million thank yous go out to you! I also got to spend time with a precious friend and even got a cool t-shirt to wear from someone special.

Everything around me seems to whisper a faint message ‘Someone loves you , Leon’. See how your wishes had all come true….

Why am I all focused on the pain? I should be celebrating the gift of life I have! This songs says it all. When I heard this song I was instantly captivated. It sounds like me! I said to myself. The person next to me said so too when we were driving down the road. Its written by a blind girl I respect so much. Ginny Owens.

This Road

A million miles away from anything familiar
A thousand places that I’d rather be
So I choke back the tears and try to find the bright side
Though I find it hard to see though all my suffering
In my heart I know Your plan is so much bigger

But this small part is all that I can see
And I believe You haven’t left me here to wander
Still I can’t help but ponder where You’re leading me

(chorus)
And I ask why this road
Why this way
And this load
Tell me how far must I go
Til I see …Til I know
Why this road

A million miles away from anything familiar
What was it like to be so far from home
Though You came in love
The world misunderstood You
There must have been some days when you felt so alone

But You endured, because there was joy before You
Joy that came because You sacrificed
Since You gave yourself just to spend forever with me
Surely I can trust You’ll lead me through my darkest times
When I ask why….

(chorus)

From here I can’t see
Why You’d choose this path for me
But I don’t have to understand to believe
That You know why, this road
Why this way
And this load
You know how far I must go
Til I see
Til I know
Why this road

In the end though I know all my dreams will come true. Because of You. Because You know.